Joke Of The Week

joke11jpgA little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, turns to her and asks:

“Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”. “NO!” says the little girl as she keeps on walking. 

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,  “Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.” “NO!” says the little girl as she hurries down the street. The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, “Okay kid, my last offer!  I’ll give you 20 Bucks “and” a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride.” Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out…”Look Dad” “Your the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley”! YOU RIDE IT!

6 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”

  1. 1 May 31st, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

    As they walk, they come across a sign:
    “Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.”
    “I am entering!” said Snow White.

    After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how’d you do?”
    “First Place!,” said Snow White.

    They continue walking and they see a sign: “Contest for the strongest man in the world.”
    “I’m entering,” says Superman.

    After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, “How did you make out?”
    “First Place,” answers Superman. “Did you ever doubt?”

    “They continue walking when they see a sign: “Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?”
    “I’m entering,” says Pinocchio.

    After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
    “What happened?” they asked.

    “Who the hell is Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi?” asked Pinocchio.

    Over & Out,


  2. 2 May 31st, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    This one really brought a tear to my eye…..very moving.

    A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

    Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

    He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

    ‘Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?’ she asked.

    ‘They’re mating,’ her father replied.

    ‘What do you call the spider on top?’ she asked.

    ‘That’s a Daddy Longlegs,’ her father answered.

    ‘So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?’ the little girl asked.

    As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, ‘No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.’

    ‘The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted
    her foot and stomped them flat.

    ‘Well, married or not, we’re not having any of that gay shit in our garden’ she said.

    Over & Out,


  3. 3 May 31st, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Mike was attending his motorcycle club’s monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn’t make the upcoming trip to Bike Week because his wife wouldn’t let him go.

    After listening to the jeers and other derisive remarks from his fellow bikers Mike left to go back home to his wife.

    When Mike’s friends started arriving to set up camp the following week at Bike Week who should be there but Mike sitting up in front of his scooter, tent up , beer in hand, camp oven roast stewing away in a hot bed of coals.

    “How did ya talk your wife into letting you go Mike?”

    “I didn’t have to” was Mike’s reply.

    “When I left the meeting I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, surprise!!

    When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, “Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want.”

    So Here I am!

    Over & Out,


  4. 4 Fred P. May 31st, 2009 at 4:00 pm


    There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2

    One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls
    up to the house and collapses on the doorstep.

    The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health.

    Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest

    On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the
    house and asks the missionary, “Could I borrow your horse and give it back
    when I reach the town?”

    The missionary says, “Sure but there is a special thing about this horse.
    You have to say ‘Thank God’ to make it go and ‘Amen’ to make it stop.”

    Not paying much attention, the man says, “Sure, ok.”

    So, he gets on the horse and says, “Thank God” and the horse starts
    walking. Then he says, “Thank God, Thank God, ” and the horse starts

    Feeling really brave, the man say, “Thank God, Thank God, Thank God, Thank
    God, Thank God” and the horse just literally takes off.

    Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he’s doing everything he can
    to make the horse stop. “Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!”

    Finally he remembers, “AMEN!!”

    The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff.

    The man leans back in the saddle and says, “Thank God”.

  5. 5 Fred P. May 31st, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together.

    The Democratic chairman said, “I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and say, ‘Vote Democratic.'”

    His Republican opponent said, “I have a better scheme, and it doesn’t cost me a nickel. I don’t give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, ‘Vote Democratic.'”

  6. 6 nicker Jun 1st, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in awhile he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

    ‘Dave, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go Dave.’

    But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering:

    ‘Dave …………. ……… ……

    Dave…….. …


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